Is it even possible to post right now without mentioning the elephant in the room? Or is it the elephant that’s keeping us in our rooms? Of course, I’m referring to the coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic, and the stay at home/quarantine orders that are impacting us all as a global community. One surprising blessing I’ve noticed in … Continue reading A Few of My Favorite Tools
1 year ago today, I hit a really low low. I was ideating, and disappointed to not have the supplies on hand that I was ideating about to actually execute the plan. With my husband's help, we called my therapist and the crisis line, then made our way to the ER. 1 year ago, tonight, … Continue reading An Anniversary
I wrote the below letter to my younger self as a follow-up to some of the inner child work that I started several weeks back. Dear younger me, You are so very precious. I know that it sometimes feels like you're a mistake, since mommy keeps saying that she would have divorced daddy sooner, but … Continue reading Dear Younger Me
A few weeks back, my therapist and I were working on some EMDR around when I first started having any sort of ideation thoughts, which I started describing in a post late last year. In doing this work, and working through times in my childhood where I felt alone, she asked me to sit with … Continue reading Encountering the Inner Child
It’s been a little while, though not as long between posts this time as it has been in the fairly recent past. One of the stranger things about really working on healing, is, often, it’s hard to really express everything that’s going on. There has been quite a bit going on, though, and I’ll try … Continue reading Update Time
Well, it’s been quite some time since I’ve posted anything here. I’m hoping to line up a few different posts, because there is a lot I want to write about, I just haven’t felt like I’ve had the bandwidth to do much writing recently, even though I’ve been missing it. So, I might as well … Continue reading EMDR – My Experience
We all know how the saying goes. “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” In a lot of ways, I’ve lived that saying almost too well. Telling a perfectionist with trust issues something like this will result in an exhausted, drained wreck. AKA: me, most of my life. However, there is one area … Continue reading If You Want Something Done Right
You know that feeling after a really intense gym session, or some other more intense physical exercise (at least, more intense than your usual)? There's a couple, right? Like the right-after feeling, when you feel drained, spent, but really good about yourself. There's also the "next day" feeling. The "next day," at least for me, … Continue reading The Next Day
Time has been flying by this year, at least for me. Sometimes, I can hardly believe it's already almost November, that over 7 months have passed since I went into inpatient, or that I've been back to work for 3 months already, longer than I was out on leave. Other times, the day or week … Continue reading Brief Update
TW: In this post I talk about suicidal ideation (SI) in concept, though not in detail, and about some maladaptive (non-violent, illness/injury-based) daydreams I've had over the years. So, after a hiatus of a couple of months, my therapist and I have re-entered the realm of EMDR over the past couple of weeks. Originally, I … Continue reading Shifting Focus
Writing Out My Storms 