Wow! It's been about an eon since my last Victories post, and yet, so many victories have happened since then! Some I won't detail here, since they've been the topic of their own posts (like choosing to go inpatient and doing the Cog-IOP), but there are others that I'd like to go over, some big … Continue reading Celebrating Victories #8
"Back to life, back to reality," - Soul II Soul My apologies if this post feels a little disjointed or lacks a smooth flow; I’m prioritizing posting over perfection, which ties perfectly into some of the work I’ve been doing. When I first took leave from work, I had all these plans of grandeur, of … Continue reading Back to Reality
TW: Ideation & planning. If you feel the urge to harm yourself or others, please reach out for help. Back in December, I wrote a post about invisible cows, using it as a metaphor for unexpected stumbles and obstacles in my mental health journey. Well, last week, I was trampled by an invisible cow stampede. … Continue reading When Invisible Cows Stampede
If you ever go to the island of Hawaiʻi and visit Mauna Kea, the tallest mountain in the state, you’ll encounter a very strange sign. As you drive up the occasionally winding road towards the visitor’s center, which sits at an elevation of 9,200 feet above sea level, you may see a sign that would … Continue reading Holidays, Anxiety and Invisible Cows
Content warning: In this post, I will be discussing suicidal ideation and attempts in the abstract. However, if these are topics that are triggering to you at this point, feel free to skip this post. If you are in crisis, there are several crisis line options on my resources page, or call the Suicide Hotline … Continue reading Thoughts on thoughts
A couple of weeks ago, I shared about my “itchies,” which have followed me over the years. In that post, and in a couple of other posts I’ve written in the past, I’ve also made reference to my history with picking (for example, in my first post and my first “Victories” post). Picking has often … Continue reading Scratching the Surface
I never thought writing a post celebrating progress that I’ve made so far would be so difficult, but, this week, it’s a hard one. There’s been a lot going on, and, at this point, I am focusing mostly on managing my reactions, figuring out why they’re hitting as hard as they can, and containing the … Continue reading Celebrating Victories #3
“A non-writing writer is, in fact, a monster courting insanity.” - Franz Kafka One of the reasons I started this blog is because I’ve missed writing. I went to college to get a degree in writing, and I haven’t used it at all. In fact, since I’ve graduated from college, I’ve perpetually struggled to get … Continue reading Rediscovering My Voice
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” - The Princess Bride “I’m fine.” What does that mean, really? I mean, at least for me, when I’m actually doing alright, I’ll say so. Or, maybe I’ll even say I’m OK, or I’m good. What does “fine” even … Continue reading “Fine” is a 4-Letter Word
“A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself.” - Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead Sometimes, I “should” all over myself, and it leads to a noisy mess in my head. Let me explain. I am a naturally curious person, and I have a pretty … Continue reading Noisy Thoughts
Writing Out My Storms 