Back to Reality

"Back to life, back to reality," - Soul II Soul My apologies if this post feels a little disjointed or lacks a smooth flow; I’m prioritizing posting over perfection, which ties perfectly into some of the work I’ve been doing. When I first took leave from work, I had all these plans of grandeur, of … Continue reading Back to Reality

Exposure Experiment and Mickey Ears

I haven’t done the best job in updating my blog the past few weeks, mostly because I’ve been focused on getting the most out of this Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Intensive Outpatient Program that I’m in (aka: Cog). It can be hard, draining work challenging distortions and beliefs that you’ve been forming and protecting yourself with … Continue reading Exposure Experiment and Mickey Ears

First Time in Inpatient – And Beyond

This series has taken what seems like forever to finish, not because I’m ashamed of what happened, or because I don’t want to talk about it, but because the story keeps continuing, and more and more keeps happening in life. I’ll briefly go over the last bit of my time in the hospital, as well … Continue reading First Time in Inpatient – And Beyond

First Time in Inpatient – pt 2

I know that the posts in this series are coming farther apart than originally planned.  The overall journey has continued to develop, and I'm hoping to have more time soon to catch up on posting and sharing everything that's been happening lately. In my last post, I left off when I was facing a decision … Continue reading First Time in Inpatient – pt 2

First Time in Inpatient

Well, it’s been longer than expected between posts, and, after what’s been going on over the past 4 weeks, what was planned to be a 2 post series may expand to 4 or 5. When we left off on my last post, I was riding in a wheelchair, accompanied by a security guard, going to … Continue reading First Time in Inpatient

When Invisible Cows Stampede

TW: Ideation & planning. If you feel the urge to harm yourself or others, please reach out for help. Back in December, I wrote a post about invisible cows, using it as a metaphor for unexpected stumbles and obstacles in my mental health journey. Well, last week, I was trampled by an invisible cow stampede. … Continue reading When Invisible Cows Stampede

A Brief Update

So, ever since giving myself the room to not follow an "every Friday" posting schedule, I've noticed that my posts have, well, trailed off.  I'm finding other things to do with my evenings and I'm not focusing as much on writing in general.  My first instinct is to get upset with myself, but, realistically, I … Continue reading A Brief Update

Potential and Positivity

Cherry blossom branches by Jason Leung

“Behold God beholding you…and smiling.” - Anthony de Mello, S.J. This past Monday, for the first time since the 14th of December, I went into the office for work. It was also the first time I’d worked at all since December 18th. Waking up to my alarm, getting dressed, packing up my work backpack with … Continue reading Potential and Positivity

Holidays, Anxiety and Invisible Cows

Slopes of Mauna Kea

If you ever go to the island of Hawaiʻi and visit Mauna Kea, the tallest mountain in the state, you’ll encounter a very strange sign. As you drive up the occasionally winding road towards the visitor’s center, which sits at an elevation of 9,200 feet above sea level, you may see a sign that would … Continue reading Holidays, Anxiety and Invisible Cows

Thoughts on thoughts

Content warning: In this post, I will be discussing suicidal ideation and attempts in the abstract. However, if these are topics that are triggering to you at this point, feel free to skip this post. If you are in crisis, there are several crisis line options on my resources page, or call the Suicide Hotline … Continue reading Thoughts on thoughts