TW: In this post I talk about suicidal ideation (SI) in concept, though not in detail, and about some maladaptive (non-violent, illness/injury-based) daydreams I've had over the years. So, after a hiatus of a couple of months, my therapist and I have re-entered the realm of EMDR over the past couple of weeks. Originally, … Continue reading Shifting Focus
“This is a story all about how My life got flipped turned upside-down…” - DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince 10 years ago, my world felt upside-down. I had just left my ex-husband and moved back in with my grandparents. I was struggling to catch up on car payments, in order to try and … Continue reading Finding a Port in the Storm
"Back to life, back to reality," - Soul II Soul My apologies if this post feels a little disjointed or lacks a smooth flow; I’m prioritizing posting over perfection, which ties perfectly into some of the work I’ve been doing. When I first took leave from work, I had all these plans of grandeur, of … Continue reading Back to Reality
This series has taken what seems like forever to finish, not because I’m ashamed of what happened, or because I don’t want to talk about it, but because the story keeps continuing, and more and more keeps happening in life. I’ll briefly go over the last bit of my time in the hospital, as well … Continue reading First Time in Inpatient – And Beyond
I know that the posts in this series are coming farther apart than originally planned. The overall journey has continued to develop, and I'm hoping to have more time soon to catch up on posting and sharing everything that's been happening lately. In my last post, I left off when I was facing a decision … Continue reading First Time in Inpatient – pt 2
As I sit here in my living room, next to our lit Christmas tree*, watching the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas (ie: animated Chuck Jones version) for what feels like the millionth time this year with my son, I'm thinking about New Years Eve. I was writing in my "brain dump" file, which is too … Continue reading A Special Midnight
I feel like my life has been on pause for a few weeks now. First there were the weeks (nearly 2 of them) of vigil, waiting for the inevitable end of my grandfather’s life. During that time, I was in survival mode, trying to maintain some semblance of mental health along the way, but my … Continue reading Life on Pause
We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem. - Douglas Adams What is normal? I mean, really? Growing up, my mom and I would talk and theorize that everyone in the world is actually weird. The way we saw it, the vast majority of … Continue reading What is Normal?