Is it even possible to post right now without mentioning the elephant in the room? Or is it the elephant that’s keeping us in our rooms? Of course, I’m referring to the coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic, and the stay at home/quarantine orders that are impacting us all as a global community. One surprising blessing I’ve noticed in … Continue reading A Few of My Favorite Tools
1 year ago today, I hit a really low low. I was ideating, and disappointed to not have the supplies on hand that I was ideating about to actually execute the plan. With my husband's help, we called my therapist and the crisis line, then made our way to the ER. 1 year ago, tonight, … Continue reading An Anniversary
A few weeks back, my therapist and I were working on some EMDR around when I first started having any sort of ideation thoughts, which I started describing in a post late last year. In doing this work, and working through times in my childhood where I felt alone, she asked me to sit with … Continue reading Encountering the Inner Child
It’s been a little while, though not as long between posts this time as it has been in the fairly recent past. One of the stranger things about really working on healing, is, often, it’s hard to really express everything that’s going on. There has been quite a bit going on, though, and I’ll try … Continue reading Update Time
We all know how the saying goes. “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” In a lot of ways, I’ve lived that saying almost too well. Telling a perfectionist with trust issues something like this will result in an exhausted, drained wreck. AKA: me, most of my life. However, there is one area … Continue reading If You Want Something Done Right
You know that feeling after a really intense gym session, or some other more intense physical exercise (at least, more intense than your usual)? There's a couple, right? Like the right-after feeling, when you feel drained, spent, but really good about yourself. There's also the "next day" feeling. The "next day," at least for me, … Continue reading The Next Day
TW: In this post I talk about suicidal ideation (SI) in concept, though not in detail, and about some maladaptive (non-violent, illness/injury-based) daydreams I've had over the years. So, after a hiatus of a couple of months, my therapist and I have re-entered the realm of EMDR over the past couple of weeks. Originally, I … Continue reading Shifting Focus
Wow! It's been about an eon since my last Victories post, and yet, so many victories have happened since then! Some I won't detail here, since they've been the topic of their own posts (like choosing to go inpatient and doing the Cog-IOP), but there are others that I'd like to go over, some big … Continue reading Celebrating Victories #8
“This is a story all about how My life got flipped turned upside-down…” - DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince 10 years ago, my world felt upside-down. I had just left my ex-husband and moved back in with my grandparents. I was struggling to catch up on car payments, in order to try and … Continue reading Finding a Port in the Storm
"Back to life, back to reality," - Soul II Soul My apologies if this post feels a little disjointed or lacks a smooth flow; I’m prioritizing posting over perfection, which ties perfectly into some of the work I’ve been doing. When I first took leave from work, I had all these plans of grandeur, of … Continue reading Back to Reality
Writing Out My Storms 