1 year ago today, I hit a really low low. I was ideating, and disappointed to not have the supplies on hand that I was ideating about to actually execute the plan. With my husband's help, we called my therapist and the crisis line, then made our way to the ER. 1 year ago, tonight, … Continue reading An Anniversary
I wrote the below letter to my younger self as a follow-up to some of the inner child work that I started several weeks back. Dear younger me, You are so very precious. I know that it sometimes feels like you're a mistake, since mommy keeps saying that she would have divorced daddy sooner, but … Continue reading Dear Younger Me
TW: In this post I talk about suicidal ideation (SI) in concept, though not in detail, and about some maladaptive (non-violent, illness/injury-based) daydreams I've had over the years. So, after a hiatus of a couple of months, my therapist and I have re-entered the realm of EMDR over the past couple of weeks. Originally, I … Continue reading Shifting Focus
“This is a story all about how My life got flipped turned upside-down…” - DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince 10 years ago, my world felt upside-down. I had just left my ex-husband and moved back in with my grandparents. I was struggling to catch up on car payments, in order to try and … Continue reading Finding a Port in the Storm
TW: Ideation & planning. If you feel the urge to harm yourself or others, please reach out for help. Back in December, I wrote a post about invisible cows, using it as a metaphor for unexpected stumbles and obstacles in my mental health journey. Well, last week, I was trampled by an invisible cow stampede. … Continue reading When Invisible Cows Stampede
As we were saying our family prayers this Thursday evening, I looked down and saw some sort of bug on my leg. I’m guessing a flying insect of some sort had wriggled it’s way in through a screen, or had come in with us earlier in the evening. However it came in, it was sitting … Continue reading Itching for Growth
My apologies for the late post this week. On Tuesday night, I ended up with a bad case of reflux that kept me home on Wednesday. It’s finally settling down, but it’s led to a period of reflection. I’ve had one other round with some reflux this year, and both times have aligned with certain … Continue reading Heartburns Past and Present
Writing Out My Storms 