We all know how the saying goes. “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” In a lot of ways, I’ve lived that saying almost too well. Telling a perfectionist with trust issues something like this will result in an exhausted, drained wreck. AKA: me, most of my life. However, there is one area … Continue reading If You Want Something Done Right
TW: In this post I talk about suicidal ideation (SI) in concept, though not in detail, and about some maladaptive (non-violent, illness/injury-based) daydreams I've had over the years. So, after a hiatus of a couple of months, my therapist and I have re-entered the realm of EMDR over the past couple of weeks. Originally, I … Continue reading Shifting Focus
Wow! It's been about an eon since my last Victories post, and yet, so many victories have happened since then! Some I won't detail here, since they've been the topic of their own posts (like choosing to go inpatient and doing the Cog-IOP), but there are others that I'd like to go over, some big … Continue reading Celebrating Victories #8
“This is a story all about how My life got flipped turned upside-down…” - DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince 10 years ago, my world felt upside-down. I had just left my ex-husband and moved back in with my grandparents. I was struggling to catch up on car payments, in order to try and … Continue reading Finding a Port in the Storm
"Back to life, back to reality," - Soul II Soul My apologies if this post feels a little disjointed or lacks a smooth flow; I’m prioritizing posting over perfection, which ties perfectly into some of the work I’ve been doing. When I first took leave from work, I had all these plans of grandeur, of … Continue reading Back to Reality
I haven’t done the best job in updating my blog the past few weeks, mostly because I’ve been focused on getting the most out of this Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Intensive Outpatient Program that I’m in (aka: Cog). It can be hard, draining work challenging distortions and beliefs that you’ve been forming and protecting yourself with … Continue reading Exposure Experiment and Mickey Ears
I know that the posts in this series are coming farther apart than originally planned. The overall journey has continued to develop, and I'm hoping to have more time soon to catch up on posting and sharing everything that's been happening lately. In my last post, I left off when I was facing a decision … Continue reading First Time in Inpatient – pt 2
Well, it’s been longer than expected between posts, and, after what’s been going on over the past 4 weeks, what was planned to be a 2 post series may expand to 4 or 5. When we left off on my last post, I was riding in a wheelchair, accompanied by a security guard, going to … Continue reading First Time in Inpatient
TW: Ideation & planning. If you feel the urge to harm yourself or others, please reach out for help. Back in December, I wrote a post about invisible cows, using it as a metaphor for unexpected stumbles and obstacles in my mental health journey. Well, last week, I was trampled by an invisible cow stampede. … Continue reading When Invisible Cows Stampede
So, ever since giving myself the room to not follow an "every Friday" posting schedule, I've noticed that my posts have, well, trailed off. I'm finding other things to do with my evenings and I'm not focusing as much on writing in general. My first instinct is to get upset with myself, but, realistically, I … Continue reading A Brief Update
Writing Out My Storms 